4.02.2020

Leben ohne angst...

Mood: Hanging on my lover's breath 
Book: mindfulness of some shit
Music: Ask for answers


easy.. calm... breath...

We don't look for each other,
I love you, I suppose you know this by now...
Eternity was granted to you
                  ... as my mouth inked your soul on my many verses.
And I stopped, I have been thinking about this,
I stopped for many reasons,
                                       and now, when you have been called by other people's mouth,
called by other people's tongues,
I cannot, I refuse to become a setback.
You deserve to be happy,
                            to be free,
                                     to reach the heavens,
                                                  I will not be the one who keeps you from that.

Your flowers will remain to grow in my garden,
until I disappear,
for this soil, I gave to you,
before you ever set eyes on me...

You will grow,
against my and your will,
I offered perfection,
that is all I can give,
but all this is an illusion,
your perfection remains in my quill...

You deserve better...
I am not it...
I could choose someone else, I chose you...
Voices in my head...
I accept that... this I cannot change.

I cannot seem to shush the voices...
I am a monkey,
I bet you should know by now.
You want to love someone, love me,
you want to talk to someone, talk to me,
I am here, I will always be here...
You think you do not belong, well, darling, you belong to me...

I can be a selfish prick...
and one of my hearts ache, I do not know if it is yours or mine,
how art thou?
Me, one of my hearts ache...
out of selfishness,
out of emptiness,
out of hope...

a beautiful and intelligent child from heavenly fields... not knowing how to choose...

I miss the morning rain,
the morning laugh,
I miss your eyes,
I miss your smile...

I miss the water drops cooling on the soil,
I miss seeing the flowers grow,
I miss changing the time,
starting over,
lying by your side...

I miss walking beside you,
running to catch up with you,
hugging you, love...

I can run out of hope,
I can be a selfish prick...
but I will never stay on your way,
your flowers will grow,
but I won't be your weed...

No comments: