When the sun rises

Mood: Uneasy
Book: YPA
Music: Say what you want - Texas



I knew about you,

we were brought up to love you,

I wasn't afraid of falling in love...

but still...

I didn't know enough...

People can be easily seduced,

by this feeling of wistfulness,

by the longing of something we forgot.

And we walked your lines,

those that draw your form and give you shape,

it didn't matter the time,

we could touch it all

touch your silhouette until the lines became wavering.

We got a closer connection,

                                           indeed...

we created a sort of ritual,

a silent ritual where all the words evaporated in thin air,

but the essence remains afloat,

remains in that air and space shared.

In the end,

in your arms,

(when the sun rises)

it's the best place to be.

seeking...

Mood: uneasy
Book: YPA
Music: No puedo vivir sin ti - Bely Basarte


The birds fly away,

they seem to know where they go all the time,

no flick of the wing seems unintentional,

they don't seem distracted...

There's always a mission to fulfil...

The chirping as a call for their flock,

no stains in their hearts

no stains on their consciences...

the wind guides them...

There's always a mission to go to...

They don't seem to be seeking,

nor lost,

the traced trail even seems on purpose...

and there's a glimpse of freedom...

They are constantly doing their will

no distraction...

it doesn't matter the weather,

they weather it, they own it!

I thought I was a bird,

but I had never been,

the wind has moved me,

and when there's no wind... I standstill.

I'll be gone...

Mood: Okay, I guess
Book: YPA
Music: Take on me - Annie B Sweet

There was little action against,

not thorough thoughts in regards to change,

we just wanted change, but we ignored the forms of it.

we prayed...

but prayer sometimes is replied not in the ways we want... is it?

we can listen from far apart,

how the voices twist and twine and rip the hearts apart,

but they fill the void in our ears,

with lies, and thoughts that may not be even real...

are our hearts still beating?

I sense I'll be gone,

and so will you...

And the grass will still be green,

and our thoughts will still be here,

somehow,

on other people's eyes and minds...

how can we turn all these words into tangible thoughts,

into tangible and breathable truths?

the shining of a brand new day wakes my guts,

borderline, half-face under the sunlight,

the shadow keeps me captive under its fears,

and my thoughts are now weak...

they sank lost into oblivion.

It's not age anymore,

it's this sense of muting before the world,

muting for a while,

with fears,

with tears,

with no quiet place to hide...

to think...

The void in my ears

those empty spaces are filled with

thoughts I would like to avoid

but the buzzing,

the screeching,

how many days have you been awake?

Storyteller - the traveller pt1

Mood: Tranquil
Book: YPA
Music: I'm only human

It was a hot morning on this side of the world but in the South, it was autumn.

The city at night allowed us to talk under the starry skies, I could hear your voice while walking the dark streets, describing was the method of choice, I could adorn the city for you to imagine, and I loved having you with me.

The height of the city was an ordeal, I encountered myself having troubles breathing, in the end, it was all good.

The receptionist offered us mate to ease our heads and to adapt faster, I grabbed a bunch of leaves, I was feeling scared.

My trekking partner started feeling ill, there was little to do. We woke up early, and it was freezing, and then, it rained, just another cherry on top.

The view was breathtaking, the height was a plus (pun intended). I was able to see the snow and a ray swimming in the clouds, I didn't notice when the sun got up, making his way through the dense clouds of rain. We chew leaves, grabbed a bunch and place them in every pocket I had available.

The tents were really cool, I kept on walking the extra mile and found a nice water body, it appeared to be some sort of river. I saw the moon travelling in the sky, in a frisky way, gliding majestically from one side to the other, celebrated by shiny stars.

A cold and windy morning, the hardest climb, my body wanted just to disappear to a warmer place. We drank some mate up there, the warmest and delicious tea I had ever had in my life in order to survive the weather.

There was this heavy fog that didn't allow us to see far beyond our noses, and then it started to snow, it was cool, but freaking cold.

As we were descending the weather improved. I saw several small creeks with fairies and pixies, I thought it would have been like a fairytale. That night we finally arrived at the camp.

I was tired, I slept for several hours and the guide told us to keep on admiring nature while we rested, to take a hot shower, and contemplate the beauty of creation, NATURE.

Defeated... depressed...

When I was younger I had a guide,
Protected me from world’s harm
All things considered.
Then, TV showed me the evils inhabiting the earth,
That was my first greatest sorrow.

In a row, I watched hooligans beating up an elder
I watched a documentary about priests
I watched a friend killing a friend...
What is wrong out there I pondered...?
And I cried, never felt so small,
So... there, part of it all.

Then, I lost one of my fathers, pain and suffering from others
Then, I researched about priorities which life misplaces all the time...
I got depressed all over again...

Afterwards, my other father died...
So, I lost my two dads... and what saddened me the most was seeing the suffering of others
and the little I could do...

Growing behind a faded smile.
I moved away not before starting to do things on my own.
The major breakthrough was taking action,
Being always quiet, passively in silence, away from everything and everyone...
I had to.

I couldn’t wait any longer,
But I have always doubted myself...
I discovered I made mistakes,
It was the hardest and deepest depression I faced.

So, I needed to mix with the world,
I couldn’t avoid it anymore.
I thought and still do, that if we all pitch in a bit to it we can make things better,
but first I needed to know how to pitch in, how to teach and share,
I had always cared, but caring and crying don’t suffice... 
we need to do and take action.

So, made up my mind,
Decided to learn how to teach,
I would walk around barefooted...
Without combing my hair,
I needed to release and be free,
so little by little was discovering that everything that I was taught,
That my mould could be broken,
I just needed to make up my mind
And take action....

And... ended up fighting for a spot to become a teacher,
so I could go out there, to the world, planting seeds of something better...
It is not easy to take action...
It is not easy to stop and think and move...
It was until I had this class, school management
that I could fully appreciate the whole orchestra.

I had never been so grateful,
I had a mission,
and I wanted everyone to see the power they all had and the great things they could achieve...
nothing saddens me the most that not helping or being of help,
But also, not letting others grow,
I decided to step aside...
I still carry around my world of insecurities, and fears...

Anyways... I was thinking aloud sitting on the hammock...
I remembered all these feelings of joy,
sadness, and all I’ve felt for having chosen this,
becoming a teacher.
And then the joy in different forms... the hope by different means.

My teachers, throughout my life...
You are too great to count you at all...
And you, and you... all of you 💙

In the end, we teach each other... in the end,
we have an impact on others, whether we want it or not.
Sometimes the lesson to be learnt is what not to do, what to avoid.
Sometimes what to take in as your own from what others bring to your life.
In the end it is a matter of attitude and appreciation, in the end, life is a decision.

I love you all.
I still ache my losses, and celebrate the accomplishments.
Wish you all the best, always.