The ordeal...

Mood: sad
Book: misunderstandings about teaching young learners...
Music: Garbage


The ordeal to keep me still,
with nothing to lose or win,
just standing still, will you find me in my darkness?
or should I come out from under the rock I hide in blueness?

This is my broken abyss,
where not even tears show up,
the void is too deep to climb up out of it,
I'm sucked in right to the eyes...

I don't know how to surrender to this,
it was a hard start,
a gloom-some beginning of the year,
the loss just increases more loss and no peace.

I wasn't running away,
and my soul was not on fire,
I was just standing still...
under a thin veneer.

and the soil shook beneath my core
and I fell from grace, my love,
I ignore what I should do or should have done,
the void is just so deep to climb up out of the abyss,
I'm sucked in, right to the bone...